please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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