I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
