its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
