I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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