therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
