Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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