when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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