I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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