why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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