I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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