chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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