i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
