who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize