The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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