So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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