just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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