He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
