the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
