if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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