Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I AM VODKA MAN
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
