this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
