Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
