You're my little dorito
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
