You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
