i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
