Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
