I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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