How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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