am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
