I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
