Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
