Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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