dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
