I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
