i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
