the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize