The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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