Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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