I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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