the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
