Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
