when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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