I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
