is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
