i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
