Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
