your thong is hanging out like whoa
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
