Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
