i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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