This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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