Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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