My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
should my penis look like a turkey
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
