Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize