you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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