could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
In other news, I just burned my penis
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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