party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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