college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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