I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think my moral compass just broke
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