The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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