Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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