well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
