Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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