im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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