i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need a beard to bite.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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