I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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