Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
