I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
