ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
