Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
