My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Rumble strips road head = magical
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
